How do you like your cheeseburger?
“I like mine with lettuce and tomato/Heinz 57 and French-fried potatoes/A big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer/Oh good God Almighty which way do I steer?”
Jimmy Buffet’s words automatically get into your head when you enter the restaurant Cheeseburger in Paradise. Not only because of the catchy name, but also because a band welcomes you with the song when you arrive. On most nights, a two-man band plays a variety of beachy type songs—especially Jimmy Buffett songs—to get the patrons in the Caribbean mood. The restaurant has both outdoor and indoor seating, and a bar section. The area is adorned with everything you’d expect from a restaurant inspired by Jimmy Buffett songs: a tiki-bar, palm trees, fake parrots, and lots of other sea-inspired paraphernalia.
So even though you’re actually in cold, windy Indiana, you feel like you’re in Florida checking out the best local joint on summer vacation. The atmosphere gets you in a fun, carefree mood. You can sit back, take your time, and enjoy your meal while listening to a fun—although rather loud—band. You can relax, that is, unless you’re participating in the 2007 Cheeseburger in Paradise Eat-Off.
My friend and I went to the restaurant not only with the intention of doing a food review, but also to challenge each other to a food duel. We each had to eat an entire appetizer, entrée, and dessert; licked-clean plates and all.
Along with a bunch of our other friends—who served as our cheering section, we pushed ourselves as far as our stomachs could stretch. Dressed in our homemade shirts that said: Cheeseburger in Paradise Eat-Off 2007, my friend—code name Pippi-I’m-So-Fat-I-Ripped-my-Stockings—and I—code name Fatty Pants—embarked on our eating match.
Round One: The appetizer. We shared the Mini-crab burgers for our first meal. They give you four small crab cakes on buns, slightly smaller than a white castle sandwich, which are lightly breaded and fried with lots of lettuce and red pepper aioli. The crab cakes themselves were very tasty and soft—a pleasant and satisfying start to our competition. The only downside was all the lettuce. Each burger came with handfuls upon handfuls of shredded lettuce, and because we had to lick our plates clean, we also had to fill up on the light green shards. Excess water weight was not what we needed to pile onto our already satisfied stomachs. But hey, it’s all for the game (and the restaurant review).
Round Two: Cheeseburger in Paradise Burger. Each of us had one of these whopper meals: A seven-ounce burger loaded with—just like the song says—American cheese, pickles, lettuce, red onion, and tomato. The hamburger itself was the most promising dish I tasted. The burger was cooked medium-well, so it was cooked enough, but still retained the juicy flavor you crave from a really awesome burger. The toppings also had their own individual zing—the onions, pickles, and cheese—which added to the overall slam-bang taste you got with each bite. Again, my only qualm was all the lettuce! This time, the lettuce wasn’t shredded, but instead came with a few big leaves. If there’s one thing I don’t like on my burger, it’s excess lettuce. It takes away from the juiciness of the burger. So if you go, and don’t want to be overwhelmed by lettuce, ask them to leave it off your burger. In addition to the burger itself, this meal also came with a truck-load of thin fries and big kosher pickle. The fries were average, but nothing that warranted any special praise. And the big kosher pickle was one of the biggest pickles I’ve ever had on the side of a sandwich. Imagine a big, full, uncut pickle—now slice it in half. That’s how much pickle we ate. By this point in the match, both of us were getting full and we had to take our time, drinking water in between bites. And we almost gave in, without having dessert, until our friend shouted out,
“No, you have to push yourself beyond your limits.” We knew she was right. This was an eating competition for goodness sakes! Of course we had to go all the way. So we did. And after our burgers and fries, we had our final round.
Round Three: Chocolate Nachos. The name for these is very deceiving. You don’t get a plate of chips, but huge nacho shaped pastries! You’d think we’d be overjoyed at the sight, but by this point we screamed, “AHHH! Oh noooo! Look how big that is!” These nachos consisted of both chocolate and flour nachos that were fried and sweetened, covered with chocolate sauce, strawberries, and colored sprinkles. The dessert came with ten chips the size of my hand, and was also served with a bowl of strawberry and vanilla ice cream for dipping. The chips were tasty, but were too large and fried for my liking. This kind of dessert is one that you should share with a bunch of friends, instead of having to eat five whole fried pastries on your own. I would’ve liked the dessert more if the nachos actually were like nachos—more thin and crispy. The ice cream though, oh! Thank God for that ice cream. Ice cream has a way of soothing your stomach no matter how much food you’ve eaten.
In addition to the meals I tried, Cheeseburger in Paradise also has a wide variety of Caribbean inspired burgers, sea food, Appetizers, Salads, and Desserts. Also, for those twenty-one and over, there are delicious frozen drinks and cocktails to sip before your meal. So even if you don’t have the next Eat-off, you can still relax and enjoy the tasty food and fun atmosphere at Cheeseburger in Paradise. Oh, and in case you were wondering who the winner was of the Eat-off, we had an amicable tie. We just couldn’t finish those last few nachos.
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